Bridges

Here's a picture of my mom with her baby. I took it yesterday. I just think she is beautiful. For a while, when she was on about 14 pills a day, she had that look in her eyes of someone lost. Vague, never focused. Now, off meds, she'll look right into my eyes, so intent and mind-loud. Very serious but quite aware. She does sleep a lot. She's having trouble fighting off infection. She's had c-diff (an intestinal infection) 4 or 5 times since the broken hip. She can't really speak and can't walk. But when she looks me in the eyes I swear she's saying something to me. I like to think she's on a bridge right now, between two worlds, and she's trying to tell me about the next one.

I have a little story.....
When I was seven she took me to the dentist. It was probably 8 am as she always made the first appointment of the day. I had to get two teeth filled (I was a cavity prone kid) and I was a little worried. I was seated in the dental chair, my mom was ushered back out to the waiting room, and the dentist came in. The assistant was getting all the equipment ready and dropped something on the floor. The dentist, Mr X, cussed at that girl. I was mortified and the girl was quiet. He started working on my teeth. He was rough. I think he was mad and tired and who knows what. It hurt! I was a shy, timid child (me?) but finally I involuntarily yelped out an "ouch!". He said, loudly, "Goddamnit shut-up". My mom came flying through that exam room door like a super hero. Hands on her hips, she said, "Do not EVER speak to my daughter that way. She is seven years old! You should be ashamed of yourself, speaking like that to a
child" and she got me out of that chair and we left. I always felt good that she stuck up for me and got me out of there. I felt protected and part of a team.

One more.....
When I was two I got this coat for Christmas. As you can see, I was very happy. I wore it all the time. It had a little muff to go with it that hung around my neck and I could put my tiny hands into to keep warm. It was the softest, wooliest, warmest coat in the world. I loved it so much I used to want to wear it to watch cartoons. One of my best memories is sitting on the living room floor in my coat, watching Loony Toons, my mom ironing clothes behind me while we both watched the Road Runner escape Wiley Coyote and just the both of us laughing away. And I still have that coat.

"Ordinary riches can be stolen: real riches cannot. In your soul are
infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you."
Oscar Wilde, 1891