Goodbye Christmas, Hello Philosophy

I have put Bumble away and that can only mean Christmas is over. I love all the old Christmas shows; Rudolph, Frosty the Snowman, It's a Wonderful Life, and The Grinch. OMG, and Charlie Brown. Did you LOVE that tiny Christmas tree. And did you just well up with tears when all the kids realized what Christmas was REALLY about and, most important, that the little wilty tree was beautiful. Sigh. Then, after Christmas it all goes away in a box until next year. That's a problem with video and DVD. When I was a kid, those shows came on once a year and we all knew which night and what time at least a few days in advance. My mom would make fudge and put my hair in pink foam curlers and my dad and mom and I would sit on the (weird) green shag carpet and watch. So, to combat the instant gratification disease, I put all the movies in a box and they only come out at the holidays. I make fudge or peppernuts but I do not put my son's hair in curlers.

Speaking of Jay, Here's a bit of a story. I have these cork squares on my office wall by the computer. He was intrigued by the one that says, Laugh too loud. When people look at you, laugh louder (given to me by Maggie years ago). He asked me, What does that mean exactly? He's already mortified if I just giggle in public. He has forbidden me from car dancing and he's not too happy with my singing either. When I got that slush spilled down into my car window a few weeks ago, he just sat in the back seat saying, Can we just go. It will be fine. Do you have to talk to the manager? I try and explain to him how NECESSARY it is in life to speak out, to be yourself, to laugh too loud sometimes but he just thinks I'm a weirdo. I love that the thing that's taken me years to accomplish...the thing I'm proud of, just being myself, is the very thing that mortifies and embarrasses my dear son. When I told him what I think that card means; that it's okay to be silly in public/have fun/be who you are, he just said, That doesn't make any sense to me.

I have four of those cork squares up, here's another. I hope you can read the Bukowski poem, it rocks. The tiny button in the middle I've had for years and never seen another like it. I love it. It says, in itty bitty letters, It's so fuckin great to be alive. You know how some people's brains don't make enough serotonin? Sometimes I think mine produces too much. :P


I just took this picture out my office window. It's snowing like crazy here. There is this one very specific feeling that I love. It's being inside...inside anywhere...a car, a house, the library, all warm and dry. And outside it's snowing or raining and cold. Yum. I love that feeling. Now, on the flip side, I cannot stand to ice skate or go sledding. It's too freakin cold! I'd rather be in the lodge, by the roaring fire, reading a book with a glass of red then swooshing down the slopes outside. And occasionally laughing too loud.