Hollywood

I'm watching the Golden Globes. I'm having a glass of champagne and I'm folding laundry while I watch. There was a time when I was going to be up there. I was going to accept an award, and thank people. I would thank my parents, and everyone associated with the film/sitcom/drama and I would probably get teary and be slightly funny and I would most likely trip on the steps up to the podium. I went to acting school for a year, even borrowed the money to pay for it, when I was 22. I headed out to L.A. with my homegirl (niece) Suzy when I was 24 and we got an apartment off Lankershim Blvd. and started learning the business. We worked as waitresses and had headshots taken and went shopping on Melrose Avenue. We danced at Whiskey-a-go-go and drove all over L.A. and stayed up until 4:00 am. Man, did I become a great waitress. We also saw a million concerts and went to the beach and had parties at our tiny apartment. I recommend this for everyone. It was fun. But I did not become a star. I was in a golf video with Jan Stephenson, Suzy and I were in a rock video with The Stray Cats, and we were each on a game show (me - concentration with Alex Trebeck, and Suzy - 10,000 Pyramid) where we each failed miserably. We did a little extra work here and there, but we never made it big. I never got to give my acceptance speech (damn) and we never got to party with the cast of Friends (damn). But it was a great time. I'm glad I tried. I have funny stories about auditions and casting directors and standing next to Farrah Fawcett at The Gap on Santa Monica. I'd rather fail at something than, years later, have wild remorse because I didn't give it a try.

I moved to Northern California after four years of L.A.. The brown sky worried me, and I was tired of waitressing. And honestly, I wasn't a very good actress. Not then. I was shy and unsure and had no voice of my own. I think I'd be kind of okay at it now, but now I have a small but wondrous home, a beautiful child who goes to a school I love, and sweet friends and a great family and a good man and a job at Starbucks. And I love to watch these award shows. I like to see what they wear and who they're with and what those girls are doing with their hair. I have my favorites. And I love to sit in a dark movie theater and watch the stars that do not wait tables anymore. I LOVE movies. I've seen a few good ones lately; The Wrestler, The Mysterious Case of Benjamin Button, Gran Torino, and two more that I can't think of right now because I've had two glasses of champagne. But I know I liked them when I saw them. I just love how movies can make you feel so much, and give you a real glimpse into other lives. Oh, and I just remembered that one of those other movies was Into The Wild. Dang, what was that other one... (okay, okay, I'll wrap it up). Anyway, thank you so much. Goodnight.