Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Convo

Jay says to me; Mom, we need to go shopping tomorrow for pencils. I say, You have plenty of pencils in this house. He says, Well, I mean mechanical pencils. I reply, But can't we just get lead refills? And he says, No. people have tooken all my pencils like that. AUGHHHHHH. I say, Honey, it's taken. Tooken is not a word. He says, This isn't English class, I just need more pencils. I say, It's ALL an English class when you have me for your mother. He says, But you're not MY English teacher. And I say, Do you KNOW what my job description is here? It's to make you into a productive, loving, kind, literate adult. There, that's my job description.

Silence. Yay.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Hello?

My son had his first "anonymous girl" phone call tonight. The phone rang (yes, we still have a land line) and it came up as Private Call. I answered it and there was a moment of silence. Hello, I said. A young girl giggled and asked, Is this Jay's house? I answered, yes, would you like to talk to him? Giggle. Giggle. Who is this, I asked. A girl from his class, came the reply. Giggle. Background second-girl giggle. Well he's right here, you can talk to him, I said. Jay was standing a foot from me looking puzzled. I handed him the phone. Hello, he said. Hi, yes, no, no, who is this, he said. Click. He didn't recognize the voice but he was quite flattered. Nothing rude or vile was said. Just twelve year old giggling girls and a perplexed thirteen year old boy. I thought it was cute and sweet. SOMEBODY has a crush on you, I said (shrieked). But WHO? Jay responded. And got nervous and smiley. What a small little window of time. When you are suddenly aware of the opposite sex and yet everything is still innocent and dear. No seriousness or decisions or hurt or CRAZY MAKING BEHAVIOR.

I've been feeling a large amount of grace lately. Towards me, I mean. I read a short definition of grace as being unmerited mercy and I loved that. I've been feeling loved and blessed and lucky and sheltered. And through none of my own creating. So, all you friends and angels and anonymous perpetrators of kindness out there....I appreciate you and I am going to work at putting it all back out there.

“I do not at all understand the mystery of grace - only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us.”
--Anne Lamott

And, a MLK quote I just found......

“Everybody can be great because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love”
Martin Luther King, Jr.

One quote seems to be about receiving grace and the other about bestowing grace. Now, in regards to the MLK quote....combined with the fact that I started teaching English 100 and 101 again today.....you actually DO have to make your subject and verb agree, but I still like the quote. Hahahaha.

And then, because I so like definitions....

Grace:

--(Christian theology) a state of sanctification by God; the state of one who is under such divine influence;
--elegance and beauty of movement or expression; "a beautiful figure which she used in subtle movements of unparalleled grace"
--seemliness: a sense of propriety and consideration for others; "a place where the company of others must be accepted with good grace"
--a disposition to kindness and compassion; "the victor's grace in treating the vanquished"
--(Greek mythology) one of three sisters who were the givers of beauty and charm; a favorite subject for sculptors
--a short prayer of thanks before a meal; "their youngest son said grace"
--(Christian theology) the free and unmerited favor or beneficence of God; "God's grace is manifested in the salvation of sinners"; "there but for the grace of God go I"
-- A disposition to be generous or helpful; goodwill.
-- Mercy; clemency.
-- A favor rendered by one who need not do so; indulgence.
-- A temporary immunity or exemption; a reprieve.
-- Divine love and protection bestowed freely on people.
-- The state of being protected or sanctified by the favor of God.
-- Music; An appoggiatura, trill, or other musical ornanment in the music of 16th and 17th century England.

Okay, now I'm on a roll. I am LOVING these grace quotes. They all just seem to fit.

“Everything that slows us down and forces patience, everything that sets us back into the slow circles of nature, is a help. Gardening is an instrument of grace.”
-- May Sarton

Of course I was going to work gardening in here somehow :)

“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.”
--Denis Waitley

“life is a gift, and i try to respond with grace and courtesy”
-- Maya Angelou

So, I just had one of those weird moments. I saw the quote, "Tuesdays child is full of grace." Well, I was born on Tuesday and I have always been a fairly clumsy type. I never understood that damn quote. I thought that quote meant elegance, but maybe it means mercy, a sense of gratitude, and THAT stuff. It makes sense to me now. Cool.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Just a Thought

First things first....Pente was not invented by Hasbro, it was invented by some other guy. I think his name starts with a G. You can find it in the Pente! word at the top of the blog, shaded in gray. It will take you to a link. Also, Allegiant Air does tack on fees for luggage and taxes and the like. So, when it says 40.00, it's more like 70.00. I am not a person who is hugely concerned with facts, although I do not want to mislead.

Secondly, I found this great video on FB today.........watch it here

I am thinking about doing it. But, I know myself. If I just did it and acted like it was forever and that I was never going to get back on, I would fail. I would start to hide it, sneaking on when B's at work and Jay's at school. When people talked about it, I would feign innocence...."wow, really, she wrote what!? Holy Smokes." So, here is my idea. Cut down drastically. ONE DAY A WEEK. Yeah baby. Pick my day, done. I would manage my time so much better. I would HAVE more time in my day. Instead of watching a three minute blurb of The Daily Show, I just WATCH THE SHOW. I could read and do dishes and grade papers and get some damn sleep (instead of looking at vacation pictures of someone I don't even know anymore at 11:30 p.m.). I am thinking really hard about this one. I already picked out my day....Monday. That would be it. Yes, I like the idea.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Psssst....

Have you HEARD about Allegiant Air Airlines? They are really cheap. And good. My nephew, Neal, and his family flew from Idaho tp Phoenix for almost nothing at Thanksgiving on Allegiant Air. I just checked on a flight to Kansas from Phoenix and it's 40.00 one way. That's crazy! I am really into saving money right now. I occasionally do this money challange with myself where I give myself a boundary financially and then try to stick to it. Hahaha. I did it very successfully a few years ago during my actual One Year of Opus and did not buy anything that I might wear (including purses, shoes, ear rings). FOR ONE YEAR. Honestly, I accidentally bought one Cardinals tee shirt, but that's all. Otherwise, I did it, and I saved a crapload of money.

So, for the month of January I'm only buying things I can ingest. Wine, groceries, medication and chocolate all fall into this category. I have passed up two VERY cute shirts at Target, a beautiful flannel comforter cover from Eddy Bauer, a few books and some jewelry. And; Christmas decorations at 50% off, a cool piece of art on etsy, a set of Tupperware at Sam's Club, and several other pieces of clothing. Whew! Obviously I need to do this more often.


It is necessary; therefore, it is possible.
--G. A. Borghese

Monday, January 10, 2011

Games & Soup

Pente!!!!!

This is a great game. It takes some brain, but not as much as chess. It has little round glass pieces that are smooth and appealing. It is difficult, yet fun, and is perfectly suited to a nice glass of red. There is nothing to read. As one plays for the first time, one might think they are playing an ancient Japanese game, created centuries ago, filled with history and mystique. Hahaha. Nope, created by Hasbro in 1977.

I made borscht on Saturday. I made it because I found nine bags of beets in the garage freezer. They were from the garden in 2009. Heaven forbid I throw them away, I knew they would still be good and beet-like.

Hold that thought.

I have a Facebook profile. I went into Facebook kicking and screaming. I was NOT going to succumb to a teenage social network that doled out sound bites of information. Was. Not. But I eventually got on board, as I will probably do with every technological invention that comes my way if I can figure it out. So, here it is, 2011, and although I have a Facebook profile, I remain a lurker. I decided that since my friend, Maggie, was popping out sentences on facebook, I would occasionally jot down a few myself. So to make a very short story stupidly long, I wrote on my facebook, Jill Divine "is making borscht."

This is the comment I got from my son....

" It didn't taste very good and it was too red! But overall if my mom made it again I would probably eat it."

I love Facebook. I love borscht. Here's what goes in it....
3 C diced beets
2 cups diced carrots 1 medium onion
bit of garlic
several stalks celery
8 cups broth (either chicken or veggie)
half a head of shredded cabbage
teaspoon or so fresh dill
sour cream

Saute onion and garlic in a few tablespoons of olive oil. Add broth, beets, carrots, dill, and celery. Cook for an hour or so. Add cabbage and cook for another hour. Spoon into bowls and add a dollop (wtf) of sour cream. sprinkle with a bit more dill.

Again, yum.

This is a bit of health in every spoonfull. And, by the way, whereas Pente has not so much history, borscht does....here

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Finding Music Already #2, 2011

One of the items on my thingsiwanttodo list for 2011 was to find and listen to good music. My friend, Scott Feather, put this list on his FB and it's GOOD. And although it's his list for 2010, as he says, it's not about when they're released, it's all about the "find." And aside from the couple I've already heard, I'm finding most of these in 2011. Thank you Scott, for being my first guest blogger of the year.


Songs 2010
by Scott Feather on Friday, January 7, 2011 at 9:26pm

Last year I made a “favorite songs of 2009” list. At the time I it just felt like something I had to do, having heard too many good songs over the course of a year to not talk about them a little bit. I didn’t know if it was something I would be able to do again the next year. I mean, what if 2010 sucked for music? What if I didn’t discover any songs that blew my mind? I’m pleased to announce that is not the case. Awesome songs abound. They always seem to be waiting patiently to be found, and then when you play them for the first time, they pounce like lions. It’s one of my favorite characteristics of music, the immediate impact it can have, like after you hear a great song, the world seems like a different place. 2010 was no exception. Now I’ve said this before, but this isn’t a proper “Best Of” list because some of these songs didn’t come out in the past year. It’s just when I discovered them . . . or how I like to think of it, when they discovered me. I mean, who gives a shit when a song was released? its all about the find. So without further delay, My Top 16 songs of 2010. Why sixteen you ask? Because sixteen is better than ten. I just picked the songs that I had something to say about.


16. Too Long Awake - Idlewild

I’ve always kind of dug this Scottish band, but in a very moderate way, just a song hear or there. kind of a hipster sounding R.E.M. . From their third record Warnings/Promises, it’s undoubtedly the most memorable song they have ever written. I love distortion. But not when its used to simply make the song sound abrasive (I know when you are trying to annoy me, song). I love it when it’s used with a sense of melancholy, when it rides the fence between ugly-sounding and melodically haunting. The guitar in this song sounds like ache. It bends and sways and I close my eyes when I hear it.


15. Right Ahead, Great Sailor! - Right Away, Great Captain


Right Away, Great Captain is the folky side project from Manchester Orchestra’s hairy front man Andy Hull. It is a much lighter serving from a guy whose songwriting is starting to reach startling heights (more from him later). This song is just an acoustic guitar and a kind of lazy, jangly sounding vocals. Clocking in right around two minutes, I just cant seem to get enough of it. You know those little ice cream bites called Dibs? The ones where you pop a couple and then realize you have no physical ability to stop? That’s this song. I listen to it constantly. It’s stuck in my head constantly. It’s like a box of Dibs. Great lyrics too. My favorite lines in a song aren’t the ones that are necessarily that profound, but just the ones that I can extract from the song and attach a personal meaning to them. “how easy would it be if we could see the plan . . . but really what’s the plan?”


14. Beauty School - Deftones


Deftones never cease to amaze me. They remain as bad to the bone as they were when I was a sophomore in high school. As a band they have constantly evolved while maintaining a central thread of identity. Their songs are angry and sexy and sad, often all at the same time. This gem from their latest, Diamond Eyes is one of their most refined statements. Abe Cunninghams drums groove like you would not even fucking believe, and Chino Moreno’s voice comes in, sounding like some kind of amazing combination of confesstion and seduction. It’s absolutely astonishing to me that this band was EVER lumped in with bands like Korn and Limp Bizkit. It simply boggles my mind.


13. Wagon Wheel - Old Crow Medicine Show


As much as I love music, you would be surprised how reluctant I am to hear music people want to play for me. This is, of course, absurd, and something I should definitely work on, especially since sometimes they bring me songs like this. My brother came over to my house and basically made me listen to this song. And it starts, and the verse is cool and I dig the banjo and the twangy vocals ok, and then it get’s to the chorus, and to the part (and if you have never heard this song just go listen to it so you can know what im talking about) “heyyyyyy, mama rock me” and it is game, set, match. Like, holy shit, that’s why harmony exists. It’s one of the glimpses in a song where everything gets stripped to it’s simplest and you understand why the precise appeal of music. Beautiful.


12. Left and Leaving - The Weakerthans.


I love sad songs. But the thing is they rarely make me sad. I don’t know what that means about me, but it’s always been like that. Case in point, Left and Leaving. It’s a crushing post break-up song, that, from what I gather has the poor chap wandering around trying to keep his mind off his lost love. Typical story, except this dude is an above average writer. “I wait in 4-4 time, count yellow highway lines . . .” It’s such a concentrated line about loneliness. Devastating. And every time I hear it I smile inappropriately.


11. Hole In the Fence - Person L


How a song this beautiful came from the brain of a former pop-punk front man who was best known for one MTV song and his spiky bleached blonde hair astounds me. Kenny Vasoli makes a magnificent leap from The Starting Line to this band, writing songs that you feeled compelled to stop what youre doing a listen to. It sounds more like Explosions in the Sky than Green Day. And Holy Mother of God, that’s a good thing. This song was responsible for a mix I made for someone I titled Driveways at Night. It’s the kind of song that if its on when you’re driving home and its still going when you get there, you sit in your car and finish it. It’s just too good to cut short.


10. Just Stay - Kevin Devine


If you ever get a chance to see this dude live, you better go. One of the best shows I have seen (not the very best though, we’ll get to that in a bit). He played at a coffee shop and there were maybe thirty-five of us there. He just played without a mic and song his heart out. This was my favorite that he sang. It’s shows off his vocal range, going from a sweet melodic verse to the bridge that finds this anger brimming to the surface. But if you look at the lyrics, the anger was always there. It was just musically well hidden. “she said “it’s pretty but you hate yourself, I can hear clear as day.” I said I sing like this, it sounds worse than it is, I’m ok . . .ok.” Maybe this justifies why I like sad songs so much. Sometimes they just sound fucking great.



9. Swim - Surfer Blood


Like the Old Crow song, sometimes it can be one particular moment in a song that can win me over. Like, I may have been halfway listening and then this . . . part happens, and it’s like “what the hell was that?!” Swim has one of those moments. They have a really indie sounding vocal approach (think somewhere in between early Shins and Band of Horses) and in the chorus there is a line he keeps repeating “Swim to reach the end.” On the very last one he just fucking loses it. “Swim to reach THE END!!!!,” hitting this elevated note. I remember exactly where I was when I heard it and made Sam rewind it about four times. Ok, so there are pictures of me at a Halloween party and in this one pic I’m clearly singing and have my fist clenched. I know that I’m listening to that song, because I have the exact same physical response every time that song comes on.


8. Small Skeletal - Crime In Stereo


I’m pretty sure this is the song I have listened to more than any other song in the past year. You know when bands at one point belonged to some kind of intense genre like punk or hardcore and then get labeled sellouts because their new songs start to take one this new sound that’s not as hardcore or punk as it used to be. Yeah, I tend to love those bands. Crime In Stereo were an edgy hardcore punk band that’s music kept getting more and more versatile. But what a band loses in so-called integrity they make up for in a more free form of expression. This post hardcore gem has one of the most memorable first verses I can remember. From what I can gather the song is talking about cigarettes and cancer. “Now each day I sink a bit further into my father’s fate. Four packs a day, four decades straight right into an unmarked grave.” And then the chorus where he screams “I used to think it would sleep!!!” And as cool as the lyrics and vocals are the real kicker is when that drummer starts wailing on those toms in the chorus. Try not moving your head when that part comes on. Can’t do it. You just can’t.


7. Popinjay - Joy Formidable


This is got to be the best, I guess random is the word, band I have ever stumbled across. AP Magazine had this little paragraph about them and I liked the buzzwords they used to describe them. “Walls of guitars” and “shoe gazer” but “raw and melodic.” So I gave em a quick listen and it took about twelve seconds to figure out that they absolutely fucking rule. Their songs are so melodic, so sexy, so hard hitting, so fucking loud. It’s all the reasons the Pixies are great. Its all the reasons My Bloody Valentine and Slowdive are great too. And this song . . . oh man, this song. I mentioned once before, this song has this cockiness to it. I love when a song is so good you can hear that they know how good it is. I have this weird thought of them playing this song at some kind of battle of the bands, finishing, and just walking off stage like, “your move, bitches.” and no one, the crowd, the judges, the front of house, having the slightest idea what hit them. This song is literally that good.


6. Sigh No More - Mumford and Sons


Oh, this band. Is there a band that released an album in the last year with such a pure, joyless, heartfelt delivery as Mumford and Sons? How about, well, ever? I knew this band was good from the first time I heard them, but nothing, NOTHING, could have prepared me for seeing them live. I have never seen anything like it. Oh, I’ve seen great shows with great crowds, but this was different. This was spiritual. There was a connection between the band and the crowd, this shared energy, that I can only describe as joy. People sang. People clapped. People put arms each other. This was more than a live show. This was a gathering. With the exception of a few special New Years Eves, I have never felt such comradery with complete strangers. They opened with this song, and when the get to the chorus and the lead singer has the kick pedal set up by the mic and he starts hammering that thing and singing “Love it will not betray you, it will not dismay you, it will set you free” the crowd just erupted. I’ll never forget it. It would even be alright if another show never topped it. If you get the chance to see this band, do it. You’re not going to convince me of an excuse good enough not to.


5. Love Is All - Tallest Man On Earth


This is another song that has a moment that simply cannot be ignored. It’s a beautiful folk song that frankly, sounds from another era. He sounds more like Woody Guthrie than any other singer I can keep of. Its such a simple song, just him and an acoustic guitar, no accompaniment at all. And this chorus “Oh, I said I could rise from the harness of our goals, here come the tears but like always I let them go.” and when he hits always . . . I swear to God. It’s like the world stops revolving for a split second to hear this guy. His voice just sounds shredded and soulful. The song soon ends and the everything unfreezes, but if you listen to this song, prepare to be stopped in your tracks, if only for a few seconds.


4. Lemon world - The National


It could have been several songs off this band’s newest release High Violet, but this is the one I keep gravitating to. The National have been one of my favorite bands for several years now, but on this record they take it up a notch. Interestingly this is probably the simplest, most laid back song on the record. I think I can’t get enough of it because its so much fun to sing along to. “I‘m too tired to drive anywhere anyway right now, do you care if I stay” . . . the song just grooves. Singer Matt Berninger has the raddest phrasing, creating lines that are awesome not so much for what he is saying but more how he is saying it. Favorite line of the whole record “I’ll try to find something on this thing that means nothing enough.” I like to imagine being at someones house, someone you don’t know very well, and your rummaging through their records or scrolling through their ipod, and you’re trying to find the song that is perfect. Not too overbearing or epic, but not too easy to ignore or nothing-ish. Just . . . nothing enough.


3. It’s Ok With Me - Manchester Orchestra


I remember the first time I heard this song and the first half of the song was so beautiful that I was just praying “Please, please don’t take some weird turn for the worse. Please don’t start rocking out for no reason. Just stay like this.” And thank God it does. A drumless, baseless mournful dirge of a relationship just slowly, inevitably falling apart. The only other song I can think of to compare it to is the Hallelujah version by Jeff Buckley. I swear, when I listen to this song, its like a weird blend of every raw emotion
from a breakup I’ve ever been in. Which probably sounds fucking awful, but when I hear this song it’s, like Natalie Portman said in Garden State, like I’m in it. Andy Hull has one of the best voices I’ve ever heard and I think this band is going to be around a long time. The only bummer is this song is hard to find. It got released on a four song EP that came with their record when you bought it a local record store, some kind of promotion for buying local. But music nerds, just do what you need to do find this song, because its worth the effort.


2. Stay Lucky - The Gaslight Anthem


Is it premature to say Gaslight is on their way to being the most important rock band of our time? Maybe, because I think the term “important” is kind of stupid. However music affects you is valid regardless of what critics or magazines or the masses think. But if I did like such a stupid term, I think Gaslight would be that band, because, my God, they feel important to me. I didn’t think they could top their sophmore masterpiece ‘59 Sound, but they may have done just that with their new record American Slang. No longer are they writing songs about being in love and wild and being twenty. Now they are writing songs about being thirty, and how life just doesn’t seem to be turning out quite how they envisioned. “Mama told me there would be days like these until it was much too late to recover.” The best compliment I can pay this band is it feels like they are writing my songs, songs about my life. I think everyone at some point needs to have that band. It wouldn’t surprise me if The Gaslight Anthem could be it.


1. Hip Hop Saved My Life - Lupe Fiasco (Featuring Nikki Jean)


It crossed my mind to bury this song somewhere in the middle of this list. I mean, its unlike anything else on the list, and isn’t a good example of what I normally listen to. And it’s not like I can relate to this song exactly, the economic struggles of an aspiring MC who is trying to support a family. I thought about all those things but honestly it doesn’t matter, because the truth is, there was not a song in 2010 that I had a stronger emotional reaction to. Not one. I have this memory of driving on I-40 and listening to this song and realizing I was dangerously close to tears. What the fuck?!? The oddest thing is that phenomenon has happened a bunch of times. There is one thing I’ve never quite understood about punk rock. Making money is bad? I’m sure that’s a blanket statement but what I love about this song is that is exactly what it’s about. At the end you hear what he would do if he had more money and the content with Lupe’s urgent delivery is breathtaking. “told her when he get home he’ll take her to the gallery and buy everything but the mannequins.” It must be the passion. I’m starting to realize more and more that often in music, like the National song, its not what you say, it’s how you say it. I can’t think of anyone in any song who said it better than Lupe Fiasco did in this song.



So there you go, friends. These are my favorites of 2010. You should listen to them because I think there is a good chance you will like them. I hope at the very least there were some songs that had a similar effect. We’ll see what 2011 has to offer. Happy New Year.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

#1, 2011

I was on the cover of a magazine. I have no idea how or why it happened. Someone must think I'm a writer.



Some things I'd like to do in 2011....
1. Travel somewhere warm and beachy.
2. Discover new music that is so good I can't sleep. That happened with Counting Crows, August and Everything After.
3. Learn how to can vegetables. Hahaha, that's been on my list for five years and I've never done it. No chance.
4. Prepare for the end of the world in 2012 by hoarding bottled water and toilet paper.
5. See a live concert.
6. Exercise three times a week with "Just Dance 2" on the Wii.
7. Make dinner and eat it at the table on a regular basis. As opposed to stick taquitos in the microwave for Jay and feed him while he watches basketball on TV and grab a handful of chips and a glass of wine for myself.

Whew! That's enough.

Speaking of food, here's a great soup....make it.....eat it.

Spicy Pecan Soup

2T butter
1/2 cup minced onion
3T minced garlic
6 cups chicken or vegetable stock
6 oz can tomato paste
2 cups heavy cream (I used almond milk instead and it was great, no cholesterol, way less calories)
2T lemon juice
3 cups pecan pieces
3T finely chopped chipotles (I only used 2T because I am mildly spicy girl)
salt/pepper

Cook and stir onion and garlic in butter for five minutes. pour i stock and whisk in tomato paste, cream and lemon juice. Bring to a boil. Turn to medium/low and add pecan pieces and chipotle. In batches, puree in blender Pour back into pot and heat. Super easy and REALLY tasty. Make beer bread to go along with it. Drink a buttery white wine, or a slightly tannic Chianti.