I believe in one main theory regarding relationships. And I'm not talking "relationships" as much as just general howdy-do, conversational, friendship, what-not interactions. Reciprocity. When someone asks you a question, ask one back, When someone says, "How's your day going?" ask them that same question back after you answer, "Fine, except I hate this freaking wind." So, whether I was remiss, or whether he's just being stubborn, my son is refusing to comply. I don't believe he's doing it out of utter rudeness; he's the king of the please and thank-you. But when someone, anyone says, "Hi, how are you today?" he says, "Good." and lets it go at that. Call me a nit-picker (actually don't, because that is GROSS) but I really want him to reciprocate when speaking with adult....or any one for that matter. So, we started attaching the response to his allowance. I think he's going to get it now :)
The family. We were a strange little band of characters
trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one
another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other
out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same
instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the
common thread that bound us all together. ~Erma Bombeck
2 comments:
I get really bad social anxiety when I'm dealing with people and sometimes I'm so nervous and anxious when meeting new people (whether they are customers, classmates, or people at a party) that I forget to ask a question back. Half an hour later it'll hit me that I forgot my manners and I end up feeling really rude, when I'm not really and by no means meant or wanted to be. They can even ask me several questions in a row, the usual get to know you stuff, and I will completely blank out and forget to ask some in return. So silly. Anyway, I agree with your idea of reciprocity. It is one I generally try to keep up myself. :)
Tell him if he changes his answer to "Well", I'll give him a buck. "Good" makes me crazy. I also had a poetry professor that would only accept weather related responses. "Fair. Partly cloudy."
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